12 Steps to Finding a Spiritual Teacher You Can Trust

Books abound on the array of
neo-pagan faiths and Wiccan traditions, but after reading all we can,
it is common to desire a teacher to inspire and guide us along our
chosen path. Unfortunately, the world is full of hucksters eager to
cash in on this desire. Money, however, is not the only “evil” to watch
out for, and often not even the primary one. Potential religious
teachers often seek the recognition or respect given to them by eager
students. Sometimes, such respect is entirely unwarranted. Over the
course of our lives, we may have many teachers and learn these lessons
through hard-won experience but how can you avoid these pitfalls and
find a spiritual teacher with your best interests at heart? Here are
some tips to help you find your way amidst the labyrinth of good and
bad intentions:

  1. Search for a teacher who is both experienced and honest.
    There are many reputable teachers in a variety of traditions and they
    will welcome your questions about their lineage and training. If they
    are self-taught, a good teacher with lots of experience is not ashamed
    to admit they are. Claims of profound mystical powers are often a
    warning sign, as is how your prospective teacher handles proprietary
    information. Is it common for the teacher or other group members to
    pass along written information without crediting authorship? How can
    you tell? If the style of language used in the text does not match what
    your teacher or fellow group member usually uses, chances are they
    copied this information elsewhere without crediting its author. A good
    teacher will not only credit where they acquired information, they will
    make a point of teaching you to do the same.
  2. Take your time & avoid anyone who moves too fast.
    Dont adopt a teacher on the basis of one meeting. Spiritual education
    is a life-long journey. Theres no inherent value in rushing your
    decision. On the flip side: does your prospective teacher accept you as
    a student without taking the time to really get to know you? This
    should be a two-way process and a teacher who does not take the time to
    evaluate prospective students is in search of quantity, not quality.
  3. Get to know your teacher & his/her tradition.
    Sometimes the only way to get to know a teacher is by enrolling in a
    class they may offer online or at your local occult shop. Feel free to
    enroll in these without committing to being their student on a
    long-term basis (ie, seeking initiation or ordination with that
    teacher). Evaluate the information you are provided with in the class
    Does it feel like the right path for you? Does his/her description of
    their tradition fall in line with your own research on that tradition.
    You havent done any research on his/her tradition? Back-up and do that
    before agreeing to anything!
  4. Conduct a background check. What is your prospective
    teachers background? Does s/he claim initiations or degrees that you
    cannot confirm through outside sources? A reputable teacher will be
    happy to provide references. Be wary of individuals who claim
    hereditary blood lines or training that you cannot verify. Find out
    his/her reputation in the spiritual community. Is the prospective
    teacher respected amongst his/her peers? If you meet your teacher at a
    festival, community event, or even in a chatroom, ask others of similar
    stature and experience what they think of him/her. Does s/he allow
    contact with her former students that have completed their training
    with her? If not, consider it a warning sign.
  5. Learn to spot power trips and puffery. Are you
    strongly urged by the teacher to take the next class (to the point of
    being pushy)? Does the teacher seem impressed with him/herself? Does
    s/he brag about who s/he knows or his/her own stature? Does your
    prospective teacher make rash, emotional decisions or always place
    blame on someone other than themselves? Does your prospective teacher
    expect you to put them on a pedestal? If not, are you tempted to put
    them on one? Run far, far away. No matter who instigates such a
    relationship, it is not healthy for either party.
  6. Ask questions about his/her personal and professional life.
    Is his/her emotional life in order? Spirituality affects and permeates
    all levels of our lives, and as such a good teacher should have stable
    relationships with their mate, family, friends, former teachers and
    former students. This is not to say that we dont all go through ups
    and downs, or that you should necessarily quit working with someone
    when they go through inevitable woes life swings our way, but youll
    both have a more rewarding experience if you start when you are both on
    a more stable footing. This, of course, will become readily apparent if
    you follow step 1 (above) and take your time: time will tell you
    whether or not your prospective teacher is merely going through a rough
    period or if chaos, dissension and blaming others seems to follow them
    wherever they go.
  7. Find out if the teacher takes minors as their students
    without significant dialogue and permission from the students legal
    For those who are underage Yes, I realize you are eager
    to learn as much as you can about your chosen spiritual path, but
    remember that there is no reason to rush things. Even your parents
    religion will teach you valuable lessons regardless of what path you
    later choose to take. A good teacher will encourage that you learn your
    lessons from your family while you can.
  8. Explore all your options. Does your prospective
    teacher encourage you to explore several paths before deciding his/hers
    is the right one? An experienced teacher will be able to provide you
    with a list of readings that illustrate perspectives different from
    his/her own. S/he should be willing to discuss these options with you without pointing
    out his/hers is the only right option. Certain traditions require
    significant investments of your time if you are the type that likes
    to study many different paths simultaneously, talk this over with your
    teacher. Most will be fine with it, especially if you are still
    exploring and trying things out (they may even encourage it!), but
    because of the intensity of the training they may require you to decide
    upon one before beginning a priest/ess path with their group.
  9. Evaluate what you expect from your teacher. What kind
    of relationships do other people in the group have with the teacher?
    You can tell a lot from context. Some teachers will prefer a more
    formal relationship, others informal. One isn’t necessarily better than
    another, but knowing what you’re after ensures a more likely fit. It’s
    also a good idea to open up a dialogue by writing a list of what you
    are looking for and sharing this with the prospective teacher when you
  10. Ask prospective teachers what they expect from you. What
    will your homework assignments be like and how much time per week or
    month will you be expected to devote to them? How many classes and
    rituals do you need to attend? Be honest with him/her and yourself —
    can you balance the study load along with work, family life or school?
    If not, now may not be the time to begin this particular course of
    study. If a fee is charged for lessons, does it seem reasonable?
    Teachers have to eat too, so money does not necessarily indicate base
    motivations, but the fee should be reasonable (whatever that means for
    you — don’t be afraid to ask what the fees are allocated for). Also
    ask if you are allowed to disagree with a teacher. You should certainly
    learn their tradition and fit reasonably well with their beliefs if you
    plan to dedicate and seek initiation, but questions and doubts should
    be part of the dialogue and not simply subject to blind faith. Bear in
    mind however that the relationship you have with your teacher should
    also not be a constant source of philosophical (or other) disagreement.
  11. Assess whether or not the ethics of a group is a good fit with your own.
    Some people think that “consciousness-altering” substances are a
    valuable part of ritual, while others would never even consider such a
    thing. From Dionysian revels to Native American worship, this isnt an
    easy question when you look at historic precedents, but whether your
    own ethics fall on one side or the other of this argument, make sure
    you discuss this with your prospective teacher ahead of time. Either
    way, avoid illegal substances and the groups that use them. Whether or not they should
    be legal is beside the point; common sense tells us that it is
    needlessly foolhardy to participate in illegal activities. Another area
    to consider: Certain favors from the student to the teacher are not
    considered ethical; the most obvious ones are sexual favors. Were
    human; sometimes romantic relationships develop between members of a
    group, but they should not be expected as a matter of course, nor
    should they break any commitments you or the other party has made with
    your respective spouses nor should they be tied to your advancement in the group.
    Less obvious are things like washing the windows in the High Priestess’
    house (Helping to clean up the property after a ritual, however, is
  12. Trust your intuition. A teacher may check out all the
    points beautifully but the student’s inner bell is clanging an alarm.
    In that case, the student should heed it.

Document Copyright 2001 Spiritualitea.com & Sandra Mizumoto Posey, Ph.D., author of Cafe Nation: Coffee Folklore, Magick, & Divination
(Santa Monica Press, 2000). This article may be reproduced as long as
no changes, additions or deletions are made to the text. All the
information in this paragraph must be included on the document whenever
it is distributed or reproduced. Special thanks to Laura von Bosau for
her significant contributions to this article and to Donna Albino and
Denise Dumars for their thoughtful and insightful suggestions.

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