Ask Phoenix: Love Spells

Q: How do I perform a love spell?
I know the dangers and i still want to try. I honestly feel this person
I want to put it on and I really are meant to be and I believe this
person really does care for me but is afraid to show it.


A: This is probably one of the
toughest and most common questions a witch will encounter. Witches have
the power to change so many
things in their lives — why shouldn’t a witch draw someone special to

The problem isn’t the ability, but the ethics. Performing a spell to
alter another person’s behavior without their knowledge is not only
dangerous, it’s not likely to get you healthy and
positive results.

But, don’t lose hope — there is something that you can do to
draw the love you seek. You can perform a spell to allow someone to find
the courage to express their feelings for you, or to help you find love
in something or someone that you didn’t expect.

You might think that performing a love spell in such generic terms won’t
get you what you’re looking for, but if this certain someone does have
feelings for you that he’s afraid to express, this spell will reach him
and allow the love to grow naturally. If you’ve somehow misjudged him
and he’s not the best fit for you, then you’ve done no harm to yourself
or to him.

Perform the spell during the
waxing moon, since you are trying to draw
positive things toward you. The increasing light of the moon represents
the increased love you want to see in your life. Set up altar space as
you normally would, if you have something you typically use for sacred
work. If not, setting things up on a cleared-off table is fine. Make
sure the space you set up
makes things a little different than the everyday. For instance, if you
do this in your living room, push the furniture back a bit, work by
candlelight, and take the coasters and books off the coffeetable. This
will trigger in your mind that you’re performing sacred work.

Use a pink candle to represent love and rub tonka bean oil on the
candle. Procure a piece of red aventurine (if you can find a necklace
with this stone, that’s even better). Red aventurine is ideal for luck
in love. Also, get a piece of nice stationary, a red ink pen, and a piece of red embroidery floss about 7-10 inches long. When
you perform the spell, make sure you won’t be disturbed for a while.

The key to a love spell, as to any spell, is to be specific. Don’t just
call on the goddess to “deliver love” or you might wind up with a stray
puppy on your doorstep, ready to be your best friend. What you’re trying
to do is to describe exactly what you’re looking for and exactly in what
time period you would like it to happen. Keep in mind that you shouldn’t
get too pushy with deity, nor set up unrealistic expectations. Keep the
time frame to something simple, like a moon’s cycle.

Take a bath before you perform
the spell with lots of candles and your
favorite incense burning. Part of drawing love is loving yourself, so
pamper yourself. Taking a bath not only purifies your body, but also
purifies your mind by allowing you to cast away mundane, everyday
thoughts (what to buy at the grocery store, what bills need to be paid,
what homework needs doing) and focus on your work. This is your time
with divinity.

Next, dress yourself in an outfit
in which you feel
most attractive. Sit down and light your pink candle, with the red
aventurine lying before it, as well as the pen and paper. Ask the
goddess to be present and assist you with your spell. You can call on a
particular aspect of a goddess with whom you work well. I don’t advise
calling on a goddess you don’t know by name. Instead, call on the
aspect of the mother goddess to assist you. You can say something like,
Mother, grant your blessings on me as I perform this spell. Help me
a lover who is best suited to me, as your will dictates.” Then light
pink candle.

Next, take the piece of
aventurine and hold it to your heart. Imagine
the happiness of love and see yourself as attractive and worthy of
Feel these qualities go into the stone. Say out loud, “The person best
suited for me will find me and express their love for me in one month’s
time. And I will be ready to accept and receive this love when it comes
to me.” Once you finish your spell, you will carry this stone with you
(or wear it, if it’s a necklace) as a reminder and talisman to draw
love to you.

Put the stone back down and take
up the pen. On your paper, write a poem or paragraph describing your
ideal lover (but not a particular person
who you think of as your ideal lover.) Remember that personal qualities
should take precedence over physical attributes. Also write down the
activities that you’d like to do with your future love. Also, make sure
that you stress romantic over platonic love, if that’s what you’re
looking for. Specificity is key.

Fold your paper in half three
times and say, “By the power of three
times three, the love I seek will come to me.” Tie the red embroidery
floss around the paper and carry it with you until your love reaches

Be sure to thank the goddess you
called, saying something as simple as,
“Divine Mother, I thank you for your assistance and presence.” Finally,
allow the candle to burn itself out in a safe place. When
you’ve found a loving relationship, thank the goddess again by planting
something or helping to clean up a park. Strive to send love out into
the world that you’ve received.

Phoenix is a Wiccan living in
East Central Illinois, where there’s a surprisingly strong Pagan
community for such a small town. She’s ever inspired by the diverse,
wonderful individuals in town and in the circle she works with.

1999 Phoenix and Spiritualitea. Do not reprint without permission

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